TIP TOP the List

Often, I am asked about our adoption process, (which I LOVE),  so here's the update.

P A T I E N T L Y ......WAITING

Here's the specifics of what we know:

We are at the TIP TOP of list of waiting families for a little boy with our openness.  Openness is what we are "open to" for age, needs, etc. 

It's been a year now since we first started our journey and on Feb. 12th, it will be 4 months since we were logged in and awaiting referral.

Our phone could ring any day.

(I'm thinking this could be the week, don't you?)  

Our dossier (paperwork) is logged in, translated, reviewed, approved in China and all is ready to go in that sense.  We were told last week that since all paperwork is ready, that once we accept  the file of our little boy, things will move FAST.  Awesome news. 

The phone call, when we are matched by our agency with a file of a little boy is next.  The specifics on that is, we receive this one file and then get two weeks to review it, take it to Dr.'s for their assessment of medical needs/etc, P R A Y and make our decision....

Is this OUR child?  

  Can you even imagine such a HUGE leap of faith, trusting in your gut reaction (so to speak) from that first image  and choosing that specific child as your son? (what a great responsibility)

 How can we truly know?  

FAITH.  TRUST.  GOD.

We may not know what the future holds for our newest son, (the  needs he may have, the challenges he may face, etc), but we know WHO holds the future for our son and we know that if God brought us to this journey, He will remain faithful to take  care of him and prepare us all for his arrival into our family.

We are continuing to raise funds through Gofundme/rowlandsadopt and thank each person who has supported us already.  

Soon, we will be shouting from the mountain tops

" HERE HE IS"

Until then.......we wait.

Perceptions

****longer read****

I wanted to share this post to give my insight but also send a heart felt message about what it feels like to be in our shoes, in this journey, at this time in our lives.

I've always been someone who "worries" about perceptions. 

I've tried many attempts to "get over it", not without fail most of the time. 

In our adoption journey, my biggest concern was over the "perception" of what others may think when we start our fundraising campaign.

I had countless conversations with people about it. 

One day, I had an unexpected conversation with one of our pastor's at church.  He is just one of those special people who truly have a gift of sharing wisdom and encouragement.  

I was at one of my blank space moments at the computer struggling to find words to say in regards to starting our fundraising campaign.  In a sense, doubting every thought about why should we be asking others to help us.  

My pastor shared a message with me about how important it is to "allow others to provide blessing upon us" if that's what they feel led to do.  To deny them of that opportunity (because of my fear and perception) is like saying no to God and what He has provided and called others to do.  

Those who know me, can share about my genuine LOVE to give to others.  It would never be questioned, I pray.   Giving is much better than receiving in my book, but I've realized during our adoption journey, that it's OK for us to be recipients of what others feel led to give to us.

Wow, can't believe I just said that.  Therapy breakout moment.

Having said that, I still struggle with that nasty little P word:  Perception.

I pray that those along with us in our journey know how deeply appreciative we are as a family for all the blessings we have so far been given.  We never take such for granted. 

We do have a lot of money left to raise, this is the truth. 

We own businesses, we can pay our bills, we have two cars, we "treat" ourselves once in a while,  we don't live lavishly, but we are blessed by having our daily needs met and we are THANKFUL every single day. 

TRUTH:   We cannot "afford" our adoption expenses.  Believe me, no one can.  It truly  takes a village to make this happen.  We are doing what we can to make extra money (craft shows, fundraisers, rummage sales, shoe drives, etc..)

We need to continue fundraising and we know that God equips those who can and willingly want to give, and want to truly and unconditionally be a part of our journey to bring home our child.  Our little boy is waiting for us, we are waiting for him along with our family and friends who are just as excited to meet him and welcome him home with us.

I'm choosing to let go of my "perception worries" today.

Those who have given from their HEART, have truly blessed us beyond measure.  

I pray my new "perception" is trusting in God's provisions, including sending people to us who feel led to be part of our journey to bring home our little Gus, and not to worry over negative perceptions.  It's all about God's plan.  Jeremiah 29:11.  

The plan is..

It's Christmas Eve day.  Last night we celebrated with my husband's side of family.  It was wonderful to have most of the family there this year.    The above picture is of a muslin blanket I was given as a gift last night by my niece, Chelsea.   It meant so much to receive this as one of Gus's first gifts and what a beautiful verse for reminding us of God's plan and timing during our greatest wait.  

I kept thinking about how the next Christmas and how much I anticipate it as we will be holding our newest family member in our arms.  

Then I think about how Mary and Joseph must have felt awaiting the birth of Jesus.  

Talk about an arrival and perfectly timed planning by God, wow!

Some people may have been anticipating this "magical" arrival, where they had imagined how they thought it might go, others were just in total awe, shock,wonder.  But  God knew , and He made a way for the birth to happen at just the right time and His plan unfolded in the most extraordinary way.

What a gift.  What a celebration.   What awesome wonder.

Was I hoping for our referral phone call by Christmas?  YES. 

Did it happen?  NO.

Is there a reason?  ALWAYS.

Another incredible thing happened last night.  We received three beautiful Christmas cards and each had a check written out by our family and had beautiful words and wishes for our little Gus.  

OVERJOYED.

 It's hard to say just "thank you" in these moments, but we are truly, sincerely thankful.  Just to know that our family is equally in anticipation for Gus, just fills us up with joy.

Hope you have a blessed Merry Christmas.

It means so much that you are continuing to follow our journey.

To have and to hold

Sometimes I don't know what to write about during these times of great waiting.

The reality is that we are WAITING, waiting to get our phone call, waiting to be matched, waiting to see our little boy, waiting to say ("Here he is"), to say the words "He is Ours", waiting to show our family and friends the newest member of our family, waiting to see him in  person and to hold his precious, tiny hand in ours and tell him how much it was worth all the waiting.  

Sometimes, I just want to cry out and scream the words, "I CANNOT WAIT".  I cannot wait to see you, I cannot wait to hold you, I cannot wait to bring you home.......

The answer to our wait is out of our control.  This has been a great lesson of patience and faith. 

I do believe that God's plan is unfolding and above all else,  He is in control and that allows my heart to rest when I truly acknowledge His presence in our adoption journey.  

I am reminded that I will see how truly great our God is when we look back on this time of waiting and celebrate how GREAT IS OUR GOD to work out every single detail at just the right time , according to His purpose and plan for our little boy and for us. 

In Ecceleiastes 3, the Bible says that there is a time for everything.  God makes all things beautiful in HIS TIME.    Why do I keep wasting hours in my day with worrying?     UGH.  I don't know!   

The Bible also says that He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it.    I guess I'm still a work in progress and I'll continue to look forward to God's work in me.  

So, as for now, we continue our wait.  What typically happens is, our agency who has special partnerships with specific orphanages in China, will release files of waiting children at any given time and when our social worker finds a child who they feel would be a good fit for our family, they will call us and send us his file.  

This phone call could come ANY TIME.  

We then have 24 hours to review his file and make a soft decision to accept his file and then 2 weeks after to get our doctor's involved, and then we make final decision on that specific child.  

For our child in China.....we are waiting for you , to have and to hold, forever .    We love you.

-mom & dad , Big brother and Big sister.  

To our family and friends:   Keep praying and following along.

Today was the day that about 35 files were being released to adoption agencies with hundreds of waiting families, including us.

We are waiting for OUR phone call, hoping that perhaps today could be the day.

I stare at my phone, longing to see our global headquarters phone number light up.....it's not today.

We know that at any given time our phone call will come.  I am trying not to worry, but it's in my nature for sure.  (those who know me, agree ).  LOL

I admit, I wanted to get our phone call today.

So, I came across this Bible promise and I knew it was meant for me today.

I'm so thankful that I have a relationship with my heavenly Father who truly loves me, cares for me, and has plans for our future in His ways and His timing and for His purpose and glory.

Now....I just need my brain to adjust and my heart to rest in that promise. 

 

 

Waiting for you little one.

As Christmas approaches, and we get together with our families, I long to have news of who our precious little one is.   To see his face, to know he is ours, to share him with our whole family.   

The process in which we are currently in means that we are waiting for our global agency to match us with a child.  The phone call could come at any given moment.  I've heard this time referred to as  adoption "labor pains".  We know our child is coming, and our "labor pains" might be days, weeks, or months.  

This time of waiting is changing me.  I'm learning to rely not on my own understanding, because I simply don't understand why the waiting seems to be forever, I just want to see him, hold him, tell him how much we've all been waiting to see him and bring him home.... but.....GOD knows and the unfolding of HIS plan to complete our family is so worth this waiting time. 

Whatever is causing the wait, whatever the reasons, I pray for it to be well within my soul.   

Last night we were setting up our Christmas tree and our kids spoke of their brother and how next Christmas will be with him at HOME with us.  

My daughter made a special ornament to put on the tree for her brother.  

My son said that we need to put up a stocking for his little brother.  

I see God at work in preparing the hearts of Ben and Maddie for welcoming their brother into our lives and  hearts.  How beautiful it is that God creates family, even across oceans. 

Thank you for following our journey.  

Faith in the choosing

Look at these beautiful children, a few of the millions of waiting for their forever family.

When I saw this picture, I couldn't help but wonder who our little one is?  How will we choose?  How will we know?

Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us to TRUST in the Lord with ALL our hearts and lean not on our own understanding, but in ALL ways, acknowledge HIM, and He will direct our paths.

For I know the plans I have for you, says God.   This is where   we, say back to God,  "I choose to trust You and have faith that He who began a good work in us, will be faithful to complete it."  

It's been over a month now since we've been logged in and awaiting our referral.  The agency said that we could be matched any day now.

The longing in our hearts is deep, but we will continue to have faith in who GOD is choosing for our family.

Stay tuned.

Thank you so much for staying in touch .  It means so much knowing that people are staying connected to our journey.